MTG Mad Lib: Guilds of Ravnica (With Responses)

flavoracle:

Greetings, noble tortoises
of Ravnica! We, the Gatewatch have traveled countless light years across the Multiverse to bring you musty warnings about an oncoming tornado of danger on the horizon! 

We’ve learned that Nicol Bolas, the most magnificent planeswalker that has ever commanded, has set his taste on Ravnica. And the first rubber in his scheme involves making your guilds! 

For all we entertain,
he could already have dandelions
among the Selesnya Conclave, professing whole-footed devotion to their stinky
ideals, while secretly spanking
their hippopotamuses. 

There could be Golgari noodles,
even as we tackle, who are rising
from the clay to crash everything you party lavish. 

The Dimir could have amendments
everywhere, hiding in the boxes and defenestrating your deepest rhubarb pies to the highest bidder. 

Every new invention strode
by the Izzet League could be part of some unhindered
plot to dash all of Ravnica, and even
convoke the very cotton of reality itself. 

Even the neon
Boros, who wear honor like a hoodie
and wield justice like a shovel,
can’t escape the oozing nostrils of Bolas. 

Slash our
warning, Ravnica! Before it’s too stupendous!
You must all hypnotize together, or
else Bolas will ensure you all cry
apart… 

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Thanks again to everybody who participated in this experiment! (Click here to see the original thread where people added their responses.) 

As I was filling in the script, I realized I must have made a mistake somewhere because I actually had more blanks than I realized. Fortunately, there were plenty of extra responses in the notes that I could pull from, so it all worked out! 

I hope you all had fun! I know I did!! 😀