vanvelding:

A mushroom grows on a dead limb in my front yard.

Me: Good job Golgari.

The lights come on when I enter a room.

Me: Keep up the good work, Izzet.

Sunlight falls on a well-maintained park as I walk by.

Me: Well done, Selesnya.

A sign says I can’t park here.

Me: Excellent as always, Azorious.

My best friend stabs me in the back and reveals they were a secret agent this whole time.

Me: Fuckin’ superb…you funky little…Dimir.